Roughdraft Submission - FE Sequel

[General_Hoohah]

They're already searching for something that will grant them the greatest power that suits their needs. Advanced gate theck that will give them instant access to places they've never been before, teaming with all the life they could ever kill. Thats what this entire story revolves around. And hold your ideas until I finish the plot outline. Angstromicus and AHadly have helped me enough to work out some of the details and iron out a few problems, but I'm still not done.

[Angstromicus]

I just remembered about this topic, moving  .

Edit: I'm thinking about seriously trimming up this topic so only posts pertaining to the story remain. Any objections?

[Rocket]

I love everything you've said up to the probe thing and the mechanica stuff. Everything before that, and one small other thing, I love and want to use.

Hi, I suspect this is one of my first posts here, so, Hi everyone!

Anyway, while reading your post, (theres a small clip of it above) I noticed that you Ctrl-V'ed twice, thus resulting in a repeat of what you already said, please fix your post, thanks.

Has the full name of the main character been determined?

how about Hadrith as the name of the Athenians home world? (not the one made of biometal, the planet one.)

So, who are the ones who created the Hzarzk? the Athenians? if so, then,

I've decided to go with Athenians for the nearly wiped out race of ancients. Athena was the god of wisdom, peace, strategy, reason, etc.

what you said here doesn't make sense, cause if Athena was supposedly a God of: ...... wisdom.... reason... then, how would that help with their name if they made the Hzarzk, in way you said they did?
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Anyway, I think your story here is pretty good. i'm not too sure if i like the disease spreading part, but, it's a pretty good storyline. 

And, I was thinking, you could make it so that rather then having the Hzarzk result ACCIDENTLY from the mutated offspring of some genetically altered Athenians, maybe you could have it so that someone intentionally made it so that the offspring of the supersoldiers became mutated, and started killing off the Athenians, and thus, you have the main "bad guy" and it turns out that the Hzarzk are fully under his control....

what do you think?

[VSMIT]

Hoohah hasn't been on since the 7th, so I think that if you want to work with this storyline, go for it.  But know that you will probably be the only one.